I’d like to preface this with a note of consideration-to mothers who aren’t able to breastfeed – whether they work outside of the home or-whatever may be the case.
We each have our own set of particulars- and, with that- the decisions we make to navigate our lives. As long as they’re choices that sit right with us and our inner moral compass – then, there is no wrong way to go about it.
After the events of 2020 -I found myself in a state of transition – which, ultimately-left me jobless but-in the end-allowed for a new start.
We circled back and moved to where my husband has family. After an aimless winter of long walks – caring for his grandmother and-just spending time together, I got pregnant.
Our circumstances of being unemployed and having temporary living arrangements – allowed me to make certain decisions from the start. I would be the primary care giver – as in – no daycare -and , I would breastfeed.
We would do our best to make it work and- I am so grateful that we’ve been able to.
I will not go into the countless nutritional benefits breast milk provides – there are plenty of sources for that- instead , relay a more personal experience.
The very first day of George’s life I was recovering from a c-section while , learning how to have him properly latch – simply , to nurse. My mobility was limited -as was his – so , it was a little awkward at first.
Fortunately , there was no one else on the maternity ward allowing for some extra time with the nurses.
I was told I was being a little too passive -with the offering of the breast and – was instructed to aim the nipple towards the roof of his mouth . Essentially-shoving the breast into his mouth. Was also told – he would not be pleased to have to work for his food now – hence, the approach.
I was shown various different positions in which to hold him – but , again – my range of motion was limited and most proved to be uncomfortable. After a few hours of attempting to get him to nurse -as he became increasingly irritable -finally , a successful latch. Which meant a tight seal around the nipple – the bottom lip curled outward and – without any of the sucking noises denoting gaps of air.
As mentioned in a previous post – I had done my research as to how to identify a proper latch – what to do if it hurts – and, so on. If your planning on breastfeeding I highly recommend Ina Mays guide to breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin. With this information -I did not panic despite his hollering. Rather – I learned to be patient with him and knew it would inevitably happen
I began to find my way and – so did he. Those early days were characterized by countless nursing sessions. With each session – an experiential lesson was unfolding – slowly , adding up to having more patience , less urgency – stillness and -with a greater capacity for compassion.
Growth can be painful – and- life a little chaotic at times. Our nursing sessions provide a respite – where we may be in stillness with one another – with nowhere else to be.
In the end – I’ve noticed how much I’ve grown from the experience. Like ,with anything – there isn’t a sudden and drastic shift within your being but rather, over time – a change is slowly taking place. Until the present day -where those days of so much rushed uncertainty – seem like an entirely different version of myself.
