A friend came over for a visit recently and asked me this question: Do you get irritated with your child ? And – it got me to thinking about a lot of things .
What is it – that we do -that makes us more liable to get irritated or – angry with another ?
Let’s delve into this . First, let’s see if I can answer our initial question. My son, George – is a very curious and energetic boy who loves investigating – everything. From tubes of toothpaste to egg cartons – it’s all worth a detailed inspection.
This lends to him being in some precarious situations – so , I have to keep a close watch but – at the same time – I want him to explore his surroundings. There have been times of slight frustration but -never irritation. I asked myself – is that what characterizes a love for a child – purely unconditional?
I expanded outward – and, examined how I treat others -starting with those closest to me. There was a time when I would be easily irritated and quick to anger. Now, I’d say- no , not so much.
A lot has changed from then to now.
Then – I felt incapable of just – being. I was always seeking something outside of myself to feel anything other than what I was feeling. With all my striving – I would never get to feeling better – just -to another feeling.
Reminds me of the Buddhist concept of a hungry ghost- beings consumed with a perpetual hunger or thirst they’re incapable of satiating.
For years – I went on like this.
What seems so clear to me now – I was completely oblivious to then. Every action, thought – word – are perpetually adding up to who we are at present. We may have false notions of being a fixed entity -but , in reality we are constantly changing. Arising and passing away. Over and over to infinitude.
I was perpetually enacting destructive actions – so ,it’s no wonder I felt empty.
In contrast – when continually taking actions that support life – I then experience real -joy. Seems like such a simple equation but -it isn’t always so easy to get to.
Sometimes we get sucked into our habits- they create their own field of gravity. Until – we may not even be capable of seeing it any other way.
Though- with just a little faith and imagination – of the potentially beautiful states we could be inhabiting- breaking any mode of behavior-is-possible.
With each present action we can start to build. Anytime we forgo a destructive action-we build. When we enrich our lives – are truly kind to ourselves – we in-turn, are automatically enriching the lives of others -as well as- enabling our capacity for compassion.
Sometimes we may falter – maybe get a little selfish , drink a bit too much , eat food to satisfy a craving that isn’t so nice to your body – gossip … and, so on. Yet- the laws are fixed – the Universe is self correcting – and soon – we won’t feel so hot.
It’s all par for the course. Those moments of contrast coupled with a little awareness -may help steer our behavior in the world to ultimately- bring about a lasting happiness within yourself and others.
In answer to my friends question that day I said – since I am my sons primary care giver- I try not tax my body / mind in any way and – she responded with , we all should do that – irregardless.
So – let’s embrace the next moment – allowing us another opportunity to add up to something beautiful
