I often come back to-how-everything in our universe came to be-requiring an exactitude that is difficult, if not impossible, for us to grasp. A razors edge of precision. Making it hard to believe that it all happened by chance. A cosmic explosion that somehow fell perfectly into place.
Sometimes I’m able to see how there may be some underlying order or logic within this system – the system that comprises our lives and-it usually presents itself through the most seemingly ordinary moments. The perceived fluff of life.
On Sundays I get a couple hours to myself when my husband takes George to his father’s house and like most well intentioned people – they are eager to feed George. The thing they’ve chosen is blueberries.
Every week- George goes over and gorges on blueberries – from what I hear. Here comes the tricky – sticky part of it – yes, blueberries are good – and good for you but – I got hung up on whether they’re organic or not.
I feel a need to apologize or stay mum when it comes to the subject which- when discussed within the confines of my head is a perfectly legitimate concern. I do not wish to feed my son added pesticides if I am able to avoid it.
And – on an aside -it’s absurd that we are even made to choose and pay extra for produce grown without pesticide or products that haven’t been bioengineered. (Have y’all ever seen pictures of rats fed on a diet of gmo corn ? It’s grotesque ). But anyway – I come back to – well – there’s also people without adequate sources of food; starving-and here I am griping about the berries my son eats once a week.
Irregardless – I told my husband – listen- he eats plenty of blueberries as it is and as far as fruit goes -with berries- it’s best to buy organic. That afternoon he returned home claiming yes – they are indeed organic so my assumptions were wrong and I was able to get over whatever tensions I had about it.
The following day we met a friend of George’s – along with his grandmother – at the library. We’ve been meeting once a week for almost a year now – so, we’ve become quite familiar with one another.
This week she announced “snack time” and the boys eagerly convened at the table where she took out a container of … can you guess ? Blueberries!
I wasn’t about to rip George apart from this communal activity or – out of politeness, refrained from asking that question so – I let it go.
My assumption about all of this – is that- we are here to learn ; drop by drop until awareness overfloweth. But really-all signs point to that and whenever I get tight about something – perceived as big or small – things align just so – (if…I allow it)for me to come to a letting go …
