Back in 2016 I got sucker punched with a loss that seemed too big to bare at the time. So , I began searching – looking for a way – something – anything.
I remembered someone speaking to me about a 10 day silent retreat -a decade or so prior to then – but, couldn’t recall the name. Once I mentally pieced together some of it – I consulted google which- led me to vipassana meditation.
There’s a phenomena – Im sure we’ve all experienced – when we start to focus on something- it begins to attract more of the same in our lives. After my first 10 day sit- I began to discover teachings of supposed Saints and masters. One of them being Neem Karoli Baba.
I read a book of stories about him – first-hand experiences offered up by his disciples and followers. There was one story in particular that stuck with me.
A group of his disciples- led by Ram Dass-which has become a familiar name – had been meditating in the mountains. They ended their mountain retreat with the hope of catching up with their guru – Neem Karoli baba but -first, were en route to find lodgings, a place to eat and-clean up after being without such amenities for some time. They had a driver – familiar with the area -and, he informed them of a religious festival -that only occurred after a certain amount of years.
The group was undecided – they were eager to enjoy real food – have a shower and – potentially not miss a chance to see their guru but- this festival was a rare occurrence.
They left it up to Ram Dass to make the decision. He decided they would continue as they were and skip it . At the very last possible moment he asked the driver to take the exit towards the festival.
When they arrived at the fairgrounds they were surprised to find Neem Karoli Baba with one of his attendants -who said – earlier that morning Baba urged him to start preparing food -that a group of people would be coming – equal to the amount of people that would arrive with Ram Dass later that afternoon.
I thought of this story again a couple days ago. I was having lunch with my son and – felt prompted to take a short video. Phones affect my son like no other object does – as in – he clamors for it and if hes not granted access -he’s inconsolable. For the most part – I keep my phone out of sight most of the day .
That day I just went with the feeling -took a brief video and sent it to my mother. She then sent it to my grandmother.
Heading out for our walk some time after lunch – I received a text from my grandmother. And – since my son is comfortably riding in the stroller -phone is out of sight- it’s usually the time I reserve for any phone calls I may have to make. So – I called my my grandmother.
It was a beautiful day – unseasonably warm , clear and sunny. We chatted for about an hour and it was fluid and enjoyable. All stemming from that simple urge to make a video.
I could’ve thought – no , I don’t want my son to adopt his crazy alter ego – instead , I didn’t think and – he didn’t go bananas – rather, did his part as a leading man. Ultimately – leading to a phone call with grandma – of which, the circumstances were just right for. Perfect weather, cheerful boy and-available grandma.
All this to say that – maybe we don’t need to labor -and -overthink -every decision. What if there’s something already in motion and we just have to enact whatever is required of us in any given moment. All we may have to do is to remain open – or – potentially , just quite enough to listen to the next directional tugging.
Again – I go back to that story – am I the one making these decisions and -even- say , if -we remove any mystical notions regarding fate…There are so many things to muddle our inner compass – it’s hard to say who or what is informing our decisions.
With consideration to all of that – we can go easy on ourselves. Whether we subscribe to such beliefs or- not , we can never see the missing piece -around the bend – that will inevitably change our plans.
So whenever I come back to this idea- I am inspired to continue on this path . A path of less. Continue to work on cultivating inner silence -to act with intention without placing so much emphasis on the results -and- remain open to whatever life may demand of us next.
